MKP USA Mastering Mature Masculinity Coaching

Initiation only started the process.
Where do I want to go now?
How do I get there?

  • I find the right guide for one on one coaching
  • I allow myself to be challenged and held accountable
  • I learn new ways of being, practices, strategies and tactics


The ManKind Project is blessed to have among our brotherhood some truly incredible power-house master coaches. These are men who:

MKP USA Mature Masculinity Coaching

I found myself swirling in the chaos and pain of human, ego identification this morning and after decades of avoiding moments like this I was finally blessed to recognize there is no escape - that no drink, drug, emotional outburst or distraction will deliver me.

So I just stopped and fell.

As when I coach, the detail of the drama is irrelevant. This is just part of being duped by duality, trapped in time, identified with the mess of me-ness and bumping up against reality.
The voices in my head sucking me into identification with the pain - fools fighting in the dark.

Otherwise overwhelmed, I awaken and remember the process!

1. RELAX (Suddenly I have room to come conscious, space and silence enough to hear my "own" voice)

2. RADIANT BREATHE (Pausing longer and longer on the exhale and breathing ever more deeply, the emotions quiet, my blood chemistry changes, egoless wisdom arises, my frightened heart opens)

3. THIS MOMENT IS WHAT IT IS (there is nothing actually "wrong" with reality, my "pain body" subsides)

4. I REMEMBER THE GAME - that everything I want and need is hidden in plain sight somewhere in this very moment. (The panic eases, I begin to feel possibilities, I can feel my anima (inner feminine)

5. RELEASE MY PASSION and repeatedly do the next important thing I can do to improve my life.

In today's case, it was to share this process in the hope it might serve. 😉
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MKP Man School, Visiting Professor, Steve Barnes:

"Let's look again at the four major principles of "Think And Grow Rich":

1) A definite purpose backed by a burning desire for its fulfillment.

2) A definite plan expressed in continuous action

3) A mind closed tightly against all negative and discouraging influences, including negative input from friends, family, and acquaintances.

4) A friendly alliance with one or more persons who will encourage one to follow through with both plan and purpose.

And then look at the comments about them, I think that some useful conclusions can be reached.

1) Definite purpose backed by a burning desire for its fulfillment. I think this one is a no-brainer. If you aren't clear on what you want, most people will simply revert to the "I don't like what I've got" position. But that leaves billions of possibilities for action, far too much stuff for your unconscious mind to chart a path to happiness.

2) A definite plan expressed in continuous action. This means that you know what you must do EVERY DAY to move toward your goal. This can certainly be refined, to include constant modeling of those more successful than yourself, and the adoption of a flexible attitude, constantly twisting and turning, zigging and zagging as you refine your "reality map" and close in on your target.

3) A mind closed tightly against all negative and discouraging influences, including negative input from friends, family, and acquaintances. This sounds cold and cruel. In truth, most successful people WILL get accused of being heartless at times, because they won't sway from their path just because the people around them are frightened or unconvinced of the value of your goal--UNLESS THEY ARE MEMBERS OF YOUR MASTERMIND GROUP. This is a real concern, and there are several things I want to address in connection with it.

a) I've seen family and friends sabotage diets, businesses, relationships. If their input is not healthy, is not positive, you will allow them to drag you down...and it will ultimately poison your relationship with blame: "I gave up my dreams for you!" Ultimately, friends, you are going in the ground by yourself, and are responsible for your own soul.

b) If you grow as a person, and can move toward your goals while being loving of those around you, their fears will eventually subside...and you will find that you have created room for THEM to grow...and they often will.

c) The primary "Mastermind" in TAGR is a married couple. Hill loves the idea of a man and woman standing together against the world, and I do think this is the basic unit. I see no reason that this can't apply to a gay couple. Friendships and business partnerships just don't have that "Til Death Do Us Part" energy, that sense that we are going for it...together. If you chose a partner who cannot support you in your dreams, this says something tremendously important about your self image. What if you were unhealthy when you ENTERED the relationship, but have since improved? Then I would say to forcefully but lovingly, without judgment, move toward your goals. Your partner might freak out a bit because the ordinary barriers to stop your progress aren't working any more.

This is a little like Intermittent Fasting and exercising simultaneously. You have just hit the switch on your metabolism--all of your excuses about time and genetics will go right out the window, and you will be put face to face with the lies you've used to keep yourself from growing. People afraid to balance their checkbook will avoid financial planning sessions. And people afraid of facing their personal demons will avoid therapy or meditation.

If two alcoholics marry and one achieves sobriety, you had best believe her partner will test her, will push and criticize. Will encourage "just one drink", suggest that holidays are special times, will drink in front of her, or invite her to gatherings where alcohol is served. But under all of that, he is praying that she is strong enough to actually be a rock.

And what if he isn't? What if he actually wants to drag her down and destroy her? If your goals are good, and moral, and healthy...and your partner stands in the way? Frankly, it may be time to leave.

4) A friendly alliance with one or more persons who will encourage one to follow through with both plan and purpose. This is the Mastermind, and it is critical. A husband or wife, a business partner, a writing partner, two artists or businesspeople who meet weekly to discuss their plans...again and again, hundreds of times, Hill found this pattern. The Hero's Journey stresses the gathering of allies.

This pattern IS single-minded. It will, without a doubt, separate you from the pack, if that pack is not equally ambitious. But the trick is that you won't really have to walk alone. Not only is there a more successful "pack" waiting for you, but even the average person is dying to see if there isn't SOMEONE who can succeed without becoming an asshole or destroying themselves.

My solution, obviously, has been to place balance at the core of my life. That means that I can't have a goal that destroys my family or body or career. I set that up to begin with. And I suggest that for you as well. To set up goals which reinforce each other. And my primary Mastermind partner is Tananarive. We may bump heads at times but we have similar goals in all three arenas, and skills that both overlap and complement.

The truth in Think And Grow Rich can't quite be expressed in language--no real deep truth can. But other writers plowing the same philosophical field have said things similar to "We become what we think about" or "Where attention goes, energy flows, and results show" or "We are what we do".

These four principles speak to this. ANYONE who is having financial problems right now should look at them. I promise you: I've never met a single person who was struggling with money who had even three of these four in place in their lives. It doesn't take a lot of time, or energy, or seed money. But it does require your willingness to actually love yourself deeply enough to make of your life that which is ultimately valuable: the revelation of your true self, expressed in loving family, physical vibrancy, and abundant resources."
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Face it. You'll never fit in. And that's a wonderful thing!

And there's a very good reason why you'll never fit in. There's no such thing as 'fitting in' at all.

You see, objects fit in. Things fit in. Lumps of concrete fit in holes. Blocks of wood fit in containers.

Humans cannot fit in, unless they have reduced themselves to lumps, numbed themselves to life and adventure and the ever-present possibility of transformation.

Humans relate. Humans feel. Humans experience life first-hand, touch life where life is happening, have attitudes and perspectives that are ever-changing, urges that are constantly shifting. Something alive and vital cannot 'fit in', no matter how hard it tries. Therein lies the rub - and the freedom.

The secret? Everybody is trying to fit in, and nobody feels like they fit in... even when they seem to fit in! Fitting in is not possible at all, when you realise that you are alive and therefore have no fixed self.

Because even if you were to fit in, even if they finally let you into the club, at what cost would that come to your mental health, your sanity, your inner peace, your awakening? Would you have to play a role to fit in? Squeeze all that precious aliveness out of yourself? Numb your deepest longings and urges? Behave? Perform? Be a good, very kind or very 'spiritual' boy or girl? Say the right thing? Hide what you really feel? Stop asking questions? Try to be something that you're not?

Did you ever really want to fit in, friend? If you were accepted, liked, approved of by others for the role you were playing, the persona you were carefully crafting, the 'self' you were holding up, would it truly satisfy? Surrounded by a cast of thousands, playing an empty role devoid of truth, wouldn't you still feel like an outcast, far from home? In the perfect relationship, yet having sacrificed your inner freedom, wouldn't you long to break free again?

It's delicious, ingenious, perfect, intelligent, that you never felt like you fit in. It means that you were always alive, and therefore unique and irreplaceable, designed to resist any kind of labelling whatsoever, unable to be pinned down or reduced to a category.

To paraphrase Groucho Marx, you'd never want to belong a club that would have you as a member, anyway."

- Jeff Foster
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“May I feel all I need to feel in order to heal. May I heal all I need to heal in order to feel.” ~Marguerite Rigoglioso

"The past is a molehill turned into a mountain when we’re unable to let ourselves off the hook. Our inability to forgive our past selves is a constant obstacle for our current self. We’re constantly tripping over past mistakes instead of turning those trips and falls into a part of the current dance. Those molehills and mountains can just as easily be transformed into stepping stones and transcendent rungs. We just need to be a little more imaginative about how we use the information gained from our experiences, good or bad. As Jack Kornfield said, “Forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past.”

Should-a, would-a, could-a gets us nowhere fast. It’s the equivalent of being the horse behind the cart, banging our heads into what should be behind us. Once we’re able to move out in front of the cart, we become a horse of a different color, and we discover that ‘should-a’ becomes doing, ‘would-a’ becomes willing, and ‘could-a’ becomes intending. We become proactive movers instead of retroactive whiners. And we’re able to transform the regrets of the past into vital information that we can use in the present. Before we know it, we’re out of our own way and the cart of our past is rolling smartly behind the horse of our present, and the future is wide open with possibilities."

Image: Puppeteer by Tim Booth
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“May I feel all I need to feel in order to heal. May I heal all I need to heal in order to feel.” ~Marguerite Rigoglioso The past is a molehill turned into a mountain when we’re unable to let o...

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  • Went through a New Warrior Training Adventure initiation
  • Spent years in the alchemy of integrating the wounds of their past with the golden possibilities in their present
  • Moved on to actively manifesting mission and unconditional love into the world
  • Were able to transcend and include their experiences to create a mature masculine presence to guide others
  • Have, for years, devoted themselves to practicing their craft

The Mastering Mature Masculinity© approach focuses on learning sovereign masculine presence in order to:

  • Empower and enrich the lives of men, support their increased effectiveness, and reinforce their value and values.
  • Guide men into personal alchemy – where shadows are transformed into gold and men come to inhabit their mature spiritual masculine.
  • Provide personal guidance and mentoring for New Warriors’ involvement in all aspects of MKP USA and the lives of their families and communities.

How might mastering mature masculinity show up in your life?

To find out, sign up here for a free introductory session with Lead Coach Jan Hutchins via Zoom video conferencing.


If you have any questions about the program please contact: coaching @

Jan HutchinsLearn more about Jan Hutchins, Lead Coach for Mastering Mature Masculinity Coaching.


Mastering Mature Masculinity© Coaching is a revolutionary addition to the ManKind Project’s curriculum for activating men’s brilliance and deepening the impact and effectiveness of the New Warrior Training Adventure and other MKP USA offerings.

During the evolution of MKP, we have developed, adopted and adapted technologies to guide human development. Our coaching methods are informed by this tested body of core beliefs and understandings and delivered by trained, experienced facilitators.

Ready to Act?

One on One Coaching (First Come / First Serve)
12 Sessions in 90 Days
$3000 | 6 Sessions in 90 Days $1500 | 3 Sessions in 90 Days $750
3 Person Group Coaching (Arranged First Come / First Serve)
12 Sessions in 90 Days $1200 | 6 Sessions in 90 Days $600 | 3 Sessions in 90 Days $300


NOTE: Mastering Mature Masculinity is not therapy or a substitute for professional mental health services.
See the ManKind Project USA Declaration on Mental Health.

The ManKind Project is a global nonprofit [501 (c)(3)] charitable organization that conducts challenging and highly rewarding programs for men at every stage of life. The ManKind Project supports a global network of peer-facilitated men's groups where men mentor men through the passages of their lives. The ManKind Project empowers men to missions of service, supporting men to make a difference in the lives of men, women, and children around the world. We help men through any transition, men at all levels of success, men facing almost any challenge. Our flagship training, described by many as the most powerful men's training available, is the New Warrior Training Adventure. The ManKind Project (MKP) is not affiliated with any religious practice or political party. We strive to be increasingly inclusive and culturally aware.