Gratitude to Vegas Tenold, Lyle Kendrick, and the crew from VICE who spent an evening with us while filming “Searching for Masculinity,” now available to stream for free on Tubi.com. All were gracious, sincere, and engaged. (See the section featuring the ManKind Project at 45 minutes.)
Thanks to Richard Reeves and Liz Plank for their roles in eloquently and compassionately framing issues that matter to us at the ManKind Project. And BIG gratitude to the men from the Metro NY Tri State Area of the ManKind Project who came together to support the filming of this new documentary.
There are real and urgent problems facing boys and men in our society. And there are narratives about men and masculinity being promoted and sold that do not help us face the real issues, but instead perpetuate beliefs and behaviors that ultimately hurt all of us.
Supporting men, as we do in the ManKind Project, means that women and children, communities and families, get men who are far better equipped to be the accountable and compassionate role models we need. This makes the world better. Our men’s groups and trainings help men focus on things that matter – our connections, relationships, responsibilities, and our ability to act with moral courage and integrity when we face hard choices. As Richard Reeves highlights in his book, “Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It,“
This is not a zero sum game.
In our men’s work, supporting men does not mean denigrating or disrespecting women. Supporting men means working together to build a society that does not define any gender as less than, subordinate to, or restricted to a ‘right way’ of being. We all deserve to experience and inhabit all of what being human has to offer.
What didn’t make it into the final piece from our time with Vegas were stories from men stretching toward the best version of themselves through all of the stresses and obstacles we face. We all carry burdens. We came together in the belief that men sharing honestly from their hearts and minds creates healing. It creates possibilities for generational legacies of abuse, violence, and trauma to be broken.
These are the stories and transformations shared in ManKind Project men’s groups. Men take risks to tell the truth about who they are, make strides toward living the lives they want to live, and support those who they love. Men’s laughter and tears, shared in community. It is community and models of healthy masculinity that will create broad and sustainable cultural change.
“The best antidote to a destructive online male figure in boys lives, in men’s lives, is an ‘in real life’ positive male figure.”
~ Richard Reeves
One memory of the evening stands out for me that wasn’t included. We had finished a small group exercise, exploring what’s at risk for each of us when we imagine letting go of old negative beliefs and habits. We were forming back up into the larger group and reflecting on what had been shared. Vegas spoke up, commenting on the emotion that was present, and said, “This is HARD.”
Yes. It is.
There’s no escaping the vulnerable work that has to be done in order for men to know themselves, take responsibility for their lives, and build loving human relationships that make life worth living.
~ Boysen Hodgson
ManKind Project USA
