by Ed Gurowitz 

For this first column of 2016, I was struggling with how to close open the year and to strike just the right note for this new beginning. Then I received, on the NorCal V-Group, the following message from a man I know well, have staffed with, and have enormous respect for. 

For those of you who don’t know him, let me introduce you (with his permission) to Ben Tohlen, The Flowering Father Fox. Ben was initiated in 2011, is an LIT, and has staffed 18 times (and counting). More importantly, as you’ll see from the piece he wrote and gave me permission to share with you, he is a living, he is a living demonstration of the soul of the work. Brothers, I give you Ben Tohlen in his own words, wishing you a happy, healthy, prosperous, and mission-filled new year.

A lot of you know that I had a new baby boy about 5 months ago.

What a lot of you don’t know, is the struggles and tribulations it took to get there.

I’d like to share a small story with you about what this work has done for me.

Through my younger years, I abused a lot of substances. Leading myself to not be trusted. I was the type of junkie that would steal your dope and then help you look for it. I tried numerous ways to get clean ( rehabs and incarcerations were the primary ways).

Moving forward, I got married (still am) and we had a baby girl (Savana). I continued to try and get clean through out Savana’s early years. Those were really hard years on my wife and, I suspect, our daughter.

One night, my wife was out of town and I was watching our daughter. I became inebriated to say the least. My wife ended up calling the cops on me. Luckily for me, my sister in law was down the street and was able to take my daughter for the night, keeping CPS out of it. I was arrested after my daughter had left.

Now, I’ve been arrested more than most and less than few. This time though was the worst. Felony child endangerment. After getting out and apologizing to my wife, I checked back into a rehab.

I was able to avoid getting locked up for a period of time by some miracle. I spent the next couple of years trying to gain back the trust I had lost. Then I did my NWTA! And things started to change.

A couple years after my NWTA, me and my wife decided to have another child. After a couple of miscarriages, we were blessed.  My wife pulled me aside one night and told me that, because of MKP and the work I’ve done for myself, that she trusts me. That she sees the changes and the man I’m becoming, the man I’m supposed to be. I knew I had changed, but didn’t realize others saw the change.

Thank you MKP and all of you men!

I’m now sober.

I now have the family I’ve always wanted.

I will keep doing this work, to keep myself on my game.


Ed G.
Ed G.

Till next time, Aho!
Out with Gratitude, Ed Gurowitz